Hey Friends,

So if you're here that means one of a few things:

1) You made out with me last night and have no idea how to get a hold of me

2) You saw my comedy special or saw me live and being a complete masochist decided you would hunt for more of me on the web

3) You have the same name as me and when you googled yourself and saw I was a comic — you decided to explore your doppleganger a little more thoroughly

4) You just HATE your job and on a quest to keep yourself from spraying the workplace with bullets you surf the comedy world in hopes your spirits will lift.

Well, ok friend I get it! No matter what brought you here, I'm glad you are here.

Here are some things you need to know about me before you go any further... I am pretty direct, kinda’ foul-mouthed – and here’s the part that really makes no sense – I’m pretty spiritual, down right religious sometimes. So very often you will be scratching your head saying didn’t she just blog about the cumbersome task of performing the ”relationship blow job” and then signed off saying “God Bless you?” Yeah well, I’m not being a hypocrite cause I’m not judgmental in any way of others or even of myself for that matter. I am sincere in all my Spiritual beliefs, advice, ramblings, etc. Here’s what I always tell people, you have to think of me as eating a donut while drinking a diet coke, I don’t make a lot of sense sometimes but ‘ya hope it all levels out somehow in the end.

I want this site to be a lot of fun, but like I said I’m learning… So please, as you check in, post your comments about things you would like to see, what you find interesting, etc. Everything on here won’t always be funny cause, hell, I tell jokes everyday (and get tired of trying to be funny), but this site will be more of an account of what happens when the clown leaves the tent so to speak.

Having said that, don’t worry Cary (my manger) it will be funny!!! Funny, but real – and real is often hilarious! You may find yourself laughing at me sometimes, instead of with me, but that’s fine. The road gets lonely and boring and if I am keeping this thing current I see the possibilities of late night Ambien induced, Brittany Spears type sad-a-thon blogs every now and then (see what I mean hilarious!).

I'm 40 years old (actually a little older but my manger hates when I tell the truth about my age) and i'm just now becoming tech saavy. I have a GREAT webmaster but he is working super cheap for me and is very busy himself... so while I'm out here on the Hustle and Flow he is trying to make sense of all the crap (website content) I send him.

So please bare with us, our plan is to have the site all ready to launch by the end of March (which means you can expect to see it by end of April probably) but you can check my schedule here and we will post up dates and more here. The website will have my new DVD alot of blogs from me, guest blogs from friends and all sorts of interactive fun crap for everybody; so please keep checking in. In the meantime, if you will give us your name now we will send you information as soon as the official launch day is set in stone. I'M EXCITED!!! Hope you are too!

What else to expect...

There is a growing “concern” that my ass is getting too large again (I LOVE Hollywood) so we will be featuring a “butt cam” where you can vote on how big my ass is after I get back from my road gigs. LOL ( for real we are doing this... Cary is freaking as he reads this, tough, you’re the one who is insisting we open up my life to the world – so lets open it up, big butts and all).

Point is, I need you people to give me feed back if you can.

Cant wait to Blog and Tweet and Chat and Chew and whatever the hell else you guys do out here on the Web!!!

Toodles for Now!

Smiles and Blessings